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| English: Book cover: An authentic exposition of the Knights of the Golden Circle, A history of secession from 1834 to 1861 (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
Wondering who am I, where did I come from and where am I going are natural human ponderings. I admit to not knowing everything but, I believe I am figuring out more about my own self when it comes to such self queries.
So, who am I? I am the oldest granddaughter of a Knights of the Golden Circle Sentinel. My given name was chosen long ago. So, long ago that it would have been my father’s name, my grandfather’s name and perhaps even my great-grandfather’s name and so on back to the beginning or at least until the late 1800s. If, that is any of them would have been female rather than male. After some of the stories I have heard, this long line of men folk and their women were tickled that I arrived when I did. That makes me feel special, at least to them.
After some reading and research it came to me that perhaps a real United States President (Thomas Jefferson - the real one) of long, long ago as well as another notable man in history (Albert Pike) had actually chosen the name I carry for a particular reason. However, I do believe I was born about 50 to 75 years too late to serve their particular purpose in exactly the same way that they planned. Then again, who is to say that this tome is not the reason for my existence.
When I was a little girl I remember the first time I actually looked at and realized my birth given name was an awfully big, large and strong name for such a small girl child. I am proud of the name that has been passed down to me through the years. However, I am thankful to be called by my nickname all my life. It suits me perfectly. My father had a particular name he called me that no others call me. I find it interesting that I am called by many different names. It seems fitting considering the background relations in historical times. I remember thinking it was kind of funny for someone to have so many names or aliases as well as how strangely natural it feels. I think this is something that might run in families.
I am thankful for who I am. I also realize that so many things have happened in my life because of exactly who I am. At the time of their happenings they may have seemed painful and nonsensical but, now they make more sense to me.
Something else you should know about me before we get too much further into this tale is that I am one of those types of people that others might consider strange or spooky. This is because since as far back as I can remember I have been able to see spirits or ghosts. Since they have always been around just like flesh and blood folks it is only natural that I would talk to them as well as be able to hear them.
Then of course, comes the ability to feel them. Feeling them is more common than hearing and seeing them. Yet doing all three is commonly done when approached by a spirit or ghost. I do want to declare here and now that I never go searching or hunting for them, somehow they always seem to find me.
My grandmother use to say I was crazy when I would tell them of the things I would see as a child. Eventually, I stopped telling my family about the things I could see that they could not - like the spirit man who use to lead me around to different places in the woods and show me stuff, speak to me and tell me things. (I'll tell you more about him later) Although, I've realized too late in life that my grandmother had her own personal gain reasons for her attempts of saying things to cause others to doubt me.
I have learned since my childhood that the ability to see spirits is actually a Gift of the Spirit. This means that this ability was given to me by an Almighty God who knows best what is best for us no matter whether others understand it or not.
I am what is known in these more modern times as an Empath. I am able to pick up on the vibrational thoughts and feelings of others around me.
This might sound spectacular. In just the right situations it is however, in most other situations it is very uncomfortable. It is something I am and something I am learning to live with. It is a bit easier being an adult rather than a child when dealing with the thoughts and feelings of others.
(In some circles - others might consider me a psychic vampire. However, I do not enjoy knowing what you are feeling or thinking so, I believe this counts me out as being such an entity. I actually prefer to be by myself to think my own thoughts, and feel my own feelings. I am not wicked or evil. I am just me and I'm not really worried about what others might think to call me.)
Where did I come from?
The first time I mentioned genealogy to my father he objected quite sternly. I asked him why and he told me in his own way that things were better off not being dug into. However, after doing some genealogy of the people I am kin to in this life I have found that the last names of the people who are incorporated into my family tree reads like some of the old newspapers from the late 1800s. However, I am not going to name off any of those names even though I could in a short time. If you are familiar with the Knights of the Golden Circle then you are also already familiar with some of the last names of those incorporated into our family.
Interestingly, two of my family lines actually return to the same couple, a man and woman, husband and wife. My mother’s maiden name is the same as her married name since, she and my father were third cousins or second cousins once removed depending on whom may be speaking. This makes me a double relation to the people who started all this as well as some of their descendants. I am part of their deep dark secret, although I am a very small piece of the puzzle.
In summary therefore, I am a child of God as well as a daughter of the Knights of the Golden Circle. However, this is not all. I am kin to some well loved folks who live in castles far away and in two different countries. Yet, even with all that kind of European and French blood from my fathers swimming around in my veins I am also an all maternal blood American Cherokee. I believe that my Indian blood is stronger within me than any other. I believe that the supernatural or metaphysical things that happen to me or are a part of me is because of this strong maternal bloodline.
Where am I going?
I am not really sure yet. However, my hope and prayer is to go home. Maybe in telling this story I shall be able to return before this life is over.
However, before reading further you may like to know that I have no plans of giving up the secrets within. Reading this tale will lead you to no treasure. This tale is told so, you will know the rest of the story. At least the rest of the story as far as our family is involved.
The reason for telling this secret story is that I feel I have no other choice as well as the fact that since my father’s death he has told me that I have to do something about the situation as it is. I told him at that time I did not want to do this. He immediately told me, “You are the only one who can.”
Therefore, this story is dedicated to the memory of the designated sentinel as well as the sentinel his father before him, his father before him and so on from the beginning.
I ask that all their spirits to be with me and help guide me as well as protect me from any ill that may be or might come. I do this service in devotion to them and in their honor.
This image is of a naturally growing tree eye that stands about 9 feet away from where I sit every day.
